Never Eat Alone is a modern classic that teaches the art of networking and provides practical guidance on how to harness the power of good relationships and become an effective networker in order to develop a profession you enjoy. Keith Ferrazzi discovered the significance of personal interactions early in his life. As a caddie at the local country club, he not only observed how people interact and reciprocate favors, but he also learned that moxie pays off when his father went to his boss's boss's boss's boss – the CEO of the steel company he worked for – to tell him he wanted more for his son than he had ever wanted. Ferrazzi now has over 10,000 contacts in his rolodex, all of whom he can rely on to return his calls. In 2005, he published Never Eat Alone, a book in which he revealed what he'd learned so far on being an effective networker.
Relationships do not vanish; rather, they develop like muscles. In the book, there's a terrific analogy that explains how relationships function, which is useful to know before you start establishing them. Ferrazzi says they're not like cake, which vanishes over time since each slice you take gets smaller. Muscles and relationships have a lot in common. Because they grow stronger each time you train them, the more you utilize them, the stronger they become. Building relationships, like building muscles, takes time. Continuous generosity and loyalty, on the other hand, will get you where you want to go. Using the muscle example again, if you go to the gymtwice a week for a year and treat your muscles well (by giving them plenty of rest and eating well), you'll get the benefits of a good body.
Begin creating your network now, rather than waiting until you need it. You can't buy life jackets when your ship is sinking, so you'll have to create your network long before you need it. When you create a foundation of understanding and trust with someone, you can count on their assistance when you run into an issue you can't address on your own. Nobody loves a leech that only approaches you when they require assistance. Everyone wants to be regarded and respected. A good networker cultivates relationships in the manner of a marathon runner rather than a sprinter. Bill Clinton, for example, began writing down the names of everyone he'd met that day every evening when he was just 22 years old, in order to remember them better. You can guarantee he phoned some of those folks when he was running for president, and they backed him up because they'd known him for a long time as a genuine decent guy who was engaged in what he was doing.
It matters a lot more how you spend your time with people than how much time you spend with them. The majority of individuals get a headache when they think about networking because they think in terms of width rather than depth. A good network isn't made up of casual acquaintances. It's a web of real, dependable buddies. Focus on how you spend your time with people rather than how much time you spend with them. Get to know individuals in an environment where they're having a good time, not one where they feel obligated to make small chat in order to conform to societal norms. Small talk at its best isn't really small talk at all. Give individuals your undivided attention by being upfront, honest, and sharing vulnerable experiences from your life. Don't rush growing your network; one friend is worth a thousand contacts. Take each step and each individual one at a time.